What saying sorry too much really says about you.
“Sorry for not replying sooner”
“Sorry if this is a silly question”
“Sorry to bother you, but…”
“Sorry I haven’t got to that yet”
“Sorry, I know you’re really busy”
Sound familiar? If so, you’re definitely not the only one who’s learned to lead with apology, I used to be a big user! m
The Habit of Over-Apologizing
Sorry can be a way to seem polite, likable, or non-confrontational. It can become second nature, showing up in emails, meetings, and everyday conversations. But when ‘sorry’ becomes your default, it subtly changes how others see you and how you see yourself.
What sorry Can Communicate to Others
‘Sorry’ said too much can send messages you never intended such as;
You doubt yourself. Repeated apologies can sound like you’re unsure of your own abilities.
You see yourself as lower-status. It can imply that your time or priorities matter less than everyone else’s.
You take on blame that isn’t yours. Constantly saying sorry can make you seem responsible for problems outside your control.
You drain your own authority. Over-apologizing softens your voice and colleagues might stop hearing confidence when you speak.
You teach others how to treat you. If you treat your time and input as unimportant, others might believe you.
The Boundary Connection
Over-apologising isn’t just about language, it’s also about boundaries. It can signal that you’re uncomfortable asserting your needs, protecting your time, or saying no. When you apologise for existing in someone’s inbox, for asking a reasonable question, or for simply doing your job, you’re giving away small pieces of your confidence and self-respect. You are giving away your power!! Boundaries don’t mean being cold or unkind, they mean communicating your worth clearly.
This pattern shows up especially among women, who research suggests are more likely to apologise to avoid seeming assertive or demanding. It’s often a reflection of social conditioning, not capability but it still erodes confidence and boundaries over time and might have something to do with why so many women I meet feel imposter syndrome.
Small Language changes Make a Big Difference
Instead of “Sorry for the delay” try “Thanks for your patience.”
Instead of “Sorry to bother you” try “Could I get your input on this?”
Instead of “Sorry if this is confusing” try “Let me clarify that.”
These small swaps add confidence and authority without losing respect.
mindset Shifts
I am not suggesting you erase ‘sorry’ from your vocabulary but save it for when it matters. Every time you catch yourself typing or saying ‘sorry’ pause and ask
Am I actually at fault, or am I trying to make myself smaller? When you value your time, your boundaries, and your voice, others start to value them too.
Ready to Do the transformational Mindset Work?
If you’re ready to stop shrinking yourself and start showing up with confidence and clarity, this is your sign.
Book a free call here with me so we can discuss how you can make 2026 the year you start valuing yourself and achieving your potential at work!